Saturday, May 9, 2020

Electomania 2020: 'Jimmy Kimmel Live!' presents The Rock vs President Trump

In 2017, Jimmy Kimmel booked a future dream card dubbed 'ElectoMania 2020', between The Rock and President Trump. Find the transcript of the segment below:

ElectoMania 2020: The Rock vs Donald Trump
presented by 'Jimmy Kimmel Live!'
JIMMY KIMMEL: I think an actual rock might beat Donald Trump at this point
VOICEOVER: The stage is set. White House title holder Donald Trump...
DONALD TRUMP: I'm here to challenge you
VO: Defends his belt against The Rock...
DWAYNE JOHNSON: You coming down here, you're running down our country we love. Its a country we're proud of
TRUMP: I think I'm stronger than you
------- crowd boos -------
JOHNSON: We don't boo you because you support Russia
------- crowd cheers -------
VO: Get ready to Dwayne the Swamp at ElectoMania 2020
JOHNSON: You're running around here looking like a big, fat bowl of Fruity Pebbles
VO: Its and all out Smackdown of democracy
TRUMP: You're right, he is scared. You're right.
JOHNSON: You're looking at what would happen if a homeless lumberjack banged an Oompa Loompa
VO: ElectoMania 2020. Only on C-Span 2.

Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Full transcript of 'Wrestlers vs. Politicians' featuring Ronny Chieng of The Daily Show

Ronny Chieng continued The Daily Show's tradition of linking US politics with pro-wrestling. During his tenure, wrestling mark Jon Stewart was one of the first mainstream outlets to endorse the #PoliticsisWrestling meme. In 2010 for a segment titled 'Crumbums & Fatcats', Daily Show correspondent Wyatt Cenac and Mick Foley cut a promo which led to Stewart to surmise "So what you're saying is the whole f*cking thing [American Politics] is fake like professional wrestling".

With WWE Hall-of-Famer Donald Trump as President, Ronny Chieng filmed a 2018 segment in Appalachia to ask wrestler 'Progressive Liberal' for his state of the union.

VIDEO: Wrestlers Vs. Politicians | The Daily Show With Trevor Noah

RONNY CHIENG voiceover: Democrats may know how to rally their base but when they reach out to Middle America they say things like
ELIZABETH WARREN excerpt: Working families to get a share of the prosperity they're creating, we need a serious enforcement of competition laws
*deflating music*
CHIENG vo: You're boring!!!
NANCY PELOSI excerpt: Single payer! Single payer! Single payer
*deflating music*
CHIENG vo: It's like you don't even care about what you're saying
CORY BOOKER: Can you hear me now?
CHUCK SCHUMER: It's not working
Cut to the exciting part
CHIENG vo: No it's not. And it's no surprise. In the last election, people in swing states went for a guy who said things like...
DONALD TRUMP excerpt: Who's going to pay for the wall?! I'd like to punch him in the face I tell ya!
CHIENG vo: Trump honed his trademark oratorical style where else? In professional wrestling and if Democrats were gonna fight back, they needed someone who could go head to head with a WWE Hall-of-Famer like Trump. And in the heart of coal country we found him
DAN RICHARDS excerpt: Shut your ignorant mouths cuz the Progressive Liberal has something to say
CHIENG vo: Finally a Democrat who doesn't make me want to change the channel. Dan Richards has been making headlines wrestling as the Progressive Liberal and riling up small-town audiences all over Trump Country...
'Progressive Liberal' Dan Richards making headlines
RONNY CHIENG: How hard is it to pretend to have these liberal values?
DAN RICHARDS: Oh I'm not pretending
RICHARDS excerpt: You're on the wrong side of history so shut up!
CHIENG vo: But even if the crowd hates him, the Progressive Liberal could teach swing state Democrats some classic wrestling techniques for getting voter's attention
DAN RICHARDS: You wanna stick to broad brush stroke talking points
CHIENG: Right. So Middle America would rather learn about politics through a mostly naked man than by reading a book?
Pro Wrestler sits down with Daily Show correspondent Ronny Chieng
RONNY CHIENG vo: But Dan assured me that besides wearing shirts, politicians and wrestlers had one key difference
DAN RICHARDS: People in politics will say anything to get elected whereas a good wrestler is only gonna say things that they truly believe in
CHIENG: So what you're saying is that the level of political discourse in wrestling is actually higher than in politics?
Blue team vs Red Team
RONNY CHIENG vo: But with Congress immobilised by partisan politics what advice did the Progressive Liberal have for Democrats
CHIENG: Let's say you're Chuck Schumer and Mitch McConnell puts you in a headlock, what do you do?
DAN RICHARDS: Ummm I'd reverse it into a top wristlock and I would stomp on his elbow breaking his wrists
CHIENG: *nods* And the issue would be resolved?
RICHARDS: Without a doubt
'Commander-in-briefs' Ronny goes in the ring with Dan Richards
RONNY CHIENG vo: The Progressive Liberal had some great ideas for updating Democrats' messaging but could he take on the Heavyweight Champion in the White House.
RING ANNOUNCER: Introducing the 'Commander-in-briefs'!
CHIENG: Is it just me or is it getting cold in here? Because there's a snowflake in the ring!
RICHARDS: I am not a snowflake!!!
CHIENG: Snowflake! Snowflake!
RICHARDS: Quit pandering
CHIENG: I'm one of them
Dan Richards shows how to get a pop as a progressive liberal
CHIENG vo: My pandering was working. Time to take this to the next level
CHIENG: You know what this man wants? Let me guess what you want to do with the guns in this country. Just let me guess.
*crowd boos*
CHIENG: You wanna take them away
RICHARDS: I don't wanna take away guns. I'm just for really strict background checks
CHIENG vo: OK, that wasn't too hard to understand and the audience was into it
CHIENG: Fine! Whatever about guns. Let me guess what you want to do about marijuana
RICHARDS: I think what people wanna do behind closed doors should be their business
*man in crowd cheers*
The future of American Politics
CHIENG: Like Hell you do
RICHARDS: That is my position as the Progressive Liberal
*crowd cheers*
*triumphant music plays*

CHIENG vo: Looks like broad brush talking points work. Especially that marijuana one Democrats. So maybe let wrestlers craft slogans for your next campaign. Like "Lock Guns Up", "Make America Greatest" or "420 4 2020".
Let's face it, what really turns on swing state crowds isn't words. It's action
CHIENG: I don't care about your positions cuz you suck
*Ronny runs the ropes and takes a bump*
CHIENG vo: Middle America wants a strong hero who won't back down from a fight. So Democrats if you want to beat a wrestler president. Keep it simple and go on the offensive
*Ronny getting stomped on the turnbuckle*
CHIENG: Fake News! Fake News!
CHIENG vo: Welcome to the future of American politics
I contend it's been the prevailing state of American Politics for a while now, this blog was founded in 2007.

Thursday, April 12, 2018

Luchador Stephen Colbert cuts wrestling promo as "El Trump Loco"

American Pundit Fighting profile: Stephen Colbert
One of the first Punditfight wrestlers I ever animated was Stephen Colbert. For Team Red. Despite transitioning to straight comedy in the footsteps of David Letterman, Stephen is arguably more political in his Late Night incarnation. Whilst Colbert doesn't have the same affection for Pro wrestling as running mate Jon Stewart did. In today's monologue he donned a luchador mask and put on a wrestling promo as "El Trumpo Loco".

VIDEO: The President's WrestleMania Foreign Policy
STEPHEN COLBERT: (5m 37s) Threats, muscle flexing, macho nicknames. Trump is finally bringing his background in pro-wrestling to our foreign policy
*Stephen puts on a luchador mask and speaks in wrestling voice*

Now! You listen up brother. You better get ready cuz on Monday night on World War Raw I'm bringing the thunder to Animal Assad, the gas killin' animal. The rude dude, King Jong Crude but first I'm taking down my nemesis the special counsel and if you candy-ass jabronis think I won't plunge the world into a global conflict that destroys civilization as we know it, then you don't know El Trumpo Loco, brother! I am crazy, hombre. I will deport myself because I am "smart!"

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Bill Burr and Joe Rogan on Politics being Blue Team (CNN) vs Red Team (Fox News)

Comedians Bill Burr and Joe Rogan distilled the 'Politics is Wrestling' analogy in a conversation about CNN vs Fox News on a recent episode of the Joe Rogan Podcast (Ep 909). Bill Burr discussed his anxiety watching those News channels as they bake conflict and partisanship in their programming.

VIDEO: Joe Rogan Experience #909 - Bill Burr
BILL BURR:(1h 16m 10s) Its why I can't watch CNN or Fox, I can't just sit there and listen - as much as I rant and rave which is just f*ckin pretty ironic - I can't sit there listening to people screaming and yelling at each other cuz they don't want to come together. They don't want to find what's right. They just want to win.
JOE ROGAN: They have a side and they don't want to look at the other side.
BURR: I have a red tie so I argue the "Red Tie" sh*t. You have a blue tie so you argue that. It's f*ckin childish…
ROGAN: Hashtag "I'm with Her". The I'm with her thing was driving me f*cking crazy too. What do you mean you're with her. Is it just "her", is it about a woman or is it about who is the right person to run the f*ckin country. Cuz its not her, are you voting Democratic?
BURR: And I thought those f*cking — you know CNN they kinda boxed out Bernie Sanders. It was almost like a fight, he might’ve been a better matchup. Who knows?
ROGAN: He was a way better matchup. He wasn't compromised. If you wanna talk about someone who was financially compromised, he wasn't compromised. He may have been the only guy who ever ran for President that wasn't completely tied in to the financial system.
Joe Rogan and Bill Burr talking about the CNN/Fox News divide
JOE ROGAN: The CNN/Fox divide, the left and right divide has never been greater in this country than right now. There's no one objective news source. There's not one news source that just tells you what's going on and doesn't do it from a biased perspective. Its left or right.
BILL BURR: But I think that divide only exists between the people that watch that sh*t. Its kinda like people — do you watch the UFC, do you not watch the UFC — If you watch the UFC then you're into this sh*t. I think there's just news junkies out there that just mainline that sh*t and they're the ones where that divide is like that.

Monday, September 18, 2017

Ladies and Gentleman, my name is Alex Jones and I am the advocate for Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

Is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson an Alex Jones guy?
I've written previously how Alex Jones has been receptive towards a Dwayne Johnson candidacy. With recent fracturing in the President's base over his overtures to the Democrats on DACA, Alex revisits the appeal of The Rock and him possibly replacing Trump as a more suitable populist darling. The People's Champion.

VIDEO: Is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson Running For President?
ALEX JONES: (54s) I don't really like Hollywood. I'm sick of it. Its so fake, its empty. But I do like The Rock. I do like his movies, my kids like his movies. Reportedly behind the scenes, he's a really likeable guy. A hard working guy and he's supposedly pretty conservative but in a populist vein. That's a good thing.
He said about a month ago, he's considering a run for the Presidency in 2020. And the way Trump's going, if he betrays his base. I think there's one guy who's got more real star appeal and people appeal than even Donald Trump and that's Dwayne Johnson. And if Trump dynamites his own base and starts selling out to the Democrats then I would back Dwayne Johnson running against Donald John Trump and I think most Americans would as well.

Plus if the Rock's up there saying, "Mexico and China don't let you in if you're illegal. They don't let you come here and have babies for free. They don't let you come here and claim you were a kid here but with no proof". Obviously because of he's skin color that would really help and I think The Rock knows that.
But super focused, successful, smart guy. I think he'd make a great President. He's a free marketer. He loves America. He's not out to piss on the country... Should we start drafting Dwayne Johnson who already says he's getting ready to run to replace Donald Trump?
Alex continues his gushing for The Rock but oddly diverges into a shoot against Kid Rock, another prospective celebrity politician, which he promptly backtracks on.

 VIDEO: Will Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson Defeat Trump In 2020?  
ALEX JONES: So smart, good-looking, Pro-American guy with brown skin. Yes! Put him in office immediately...
Listen I'm not dumping Trump right now and Trump's done a great job but we're gonna debate this about what do we do if old Donald Trump goes sideways?

Well The Rock, Dwayne Johnson is a lot better than Kid Rock. Nothing against Kid Rock. He's got some OK music and stuff. Kid Rock does kind of look like he got fed through a meth laboratory.
Ok I'm being mean. Kid Rock's got some good policies. Some good ideas, he's given a lot of money back to Detroit and he's a patriot. I've got mutual friends with Kid Rock and I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that. Hell! I don't look that good either. Maybe I look like I've been fed through that. Point is that I hope he wins the Senate but he really is rough around the edges.
I doubt we'll be seeing Alex Jones introducing The Rock in public appearances the same way Paul "The Advocate" Heyman introduces Brock Lesnar. I don't see the Rock's personal politics overlapping with Alex Jones' brand of libertarianism.  As far as credible wrestler candidates go, Governor Ventura is closer to an "Alex Jones Guy" than the Rock or John Cena is.

The Rock is in a unique position as an adored public figure, transcending partisan politics. Moreover, he’s getting a push from the Infowars apparatus that paved the climate which helped elect Trump. If you smell what The Rock is cooking.

Friday, June 23, 2017

The appeal of Celebrity Presidential candidates— White House 46: The Rock vs John Cena

"Once in a lifetime III". John Cena vs Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson.
There's been a lot of chatter on the possibility of Pro-Wrestler Dwayne Johnson contesting for the Presidency. With broad appeal as a social media darling and the world's highest paid actor, the Rock has gotten bipartisan approval from the likes of leftist filmmaker Michael Moore and conservative publication, the National Review.
Outspoken billionaire Mark Cuban has spoken on how Trump's success has paved the way for other entrepreneurs to challenge for the highest office in the land. The same could be argued for Celebrities in general, rapper Kanye West one of the earliest to float a 2020 run before fellow self-promoter Donald Trump cut him off at the pass.
Along with politicians Elizabeth Warren and Ted Cruz, the likely Presidential field also includes celebrity powerbrokers Oprah Winfrey and Mark Zuckerberg. As guest on the 'Chapo Trap House' podcast, Matt Taibbi explains the appeal and advantages of running for office as a celebrity candidate.
Episode 77 — No Country For Gorilla Men feat. Matt Taibbi (1/29/17)
MATT CHRISTMAN: (32m 52s) It basically boils down to the fact that there's a symbiotic relationship between traditional politicians and the media, right? Because most people especially if they’re running for President on a National scale has never heard of these a**holes. So it's basically the media's job to — in collaboration with the candidate — shape a version of them for people to be introduced to and give them an idea of who they are
CHRISTMAN: Trump because he's a celebrity had a prefabricated brand that he didn't need the media to help him create so that relationship just broke down because he wasn't a politician.
TAIBBI: That's 100% correct. What people need to remember -who are politicians? Most of them before they enter congress are 4th rate lawyers who get elected from these little... towns who gradually get built up and then they have profile and then in order to be turned into these mythic God-like characters they need the overwhelming attention of lots and lots of media people. But you don't need that if you're Donald Trump, he just bypassed that entire exercise. He's a celebrity by himself, without all the help of these sycophants.
Wrestling journalist Brian Maxwell expands the case for the logical pairing of celebrities and Presidential elections. Arguing elections are basically Reality TV talent shows that incorrectly test the competencies truly needed for the job.
Review America with Brian Mann & Nate Milton — Episode 1: The RNC
BRIAN MAXWELL: (25m 53s) If this whole campaign, this whole election is Pro-wrestling. The actual Presidency is 'Brawl for All'. Being a Pro-wrestling match doesn’t actually determine who the better fighter is...
What’s really harmful with our politics -especially in our current media age- is that the qualifications, the hoops that we have people run through don’t in anyway line up to what it actually means to be President. At all. So we've devised this obstacle course that doesn't actually test someone's readiness for this type of position.
I have no doubt as scary as it sounds- that Donald Trump might win this election cuz he might actually win the media job of converting people into voters... at the end of the day the job of the Presidency isn't necessarily a public relations job... The more that I look at it and I see we kind of opened things up. I think we’ve been doing it long enough that we can question the results.
SNL imagining a John Cena and Dwayne Johnson Presidency
Writing on the analogy that American Politics is Pro-Wrestling for the past 10yrs, I never imagined a WWE Hall-of-Famer in Donald Trump could occupy the White House. The fact the Rock, an actual Wrestler is poised to be a Presidential frontrunner is truly mind-boggling.
John Cena, another marquee Wrestler also makes a compelling case as a dark horse Presidential Contender. Though divisive in the Wrestling Universe ("Let's go Cena, CENA sucks!") especially compared to the "People’s Champion". Cena offers a clearer liberal representative whilst ticking the same boxes as the Rock — charismatic action hero, positive rolemodel and supporter of the Troops. A plus on Cena's ledger, he speaks mandarin.

VIDEO: John Cena supports #WeAreAmerica this Independence Day

If registered Republican Dwayne Johnson were to run, could he possibly challenge Donald Trump in a GOP primary? Could the winner between them face a Democratic nominee John Cena? Might the deciding battle in the "Once in a lifetime" feud between John Cena and the Rock be waged in the Political Arena? The rivalry that began for WrestleMania 28, avenged at WrestleMania 29 could possibly culminate in the election for POTUS 46.

Friday, June 16, 2017

Mike Cernovich proposes a Left VS Right Battle Royale headlined by Keith Olbermann and Alex Jones

Expounding on an earlier tweet, Mike Cernovich proposed a Left VS Right PPV showdown headlined by Keith Olbermann and new boss and partner, Alex Jones. I’ve been meaning to update the PunditFight roster with today’s current stars, the hype behind this hypothetical superfight might just be the inspiration.
Original 'American Pundit Fighting' roster (2007)
In the 10 years since it's founding, the APF roster has changed dramatically, escalating within the past year during the recent changeover in administrations. Jon Stewart stepped down from the 'Daily Show'. Stephen Colbert broke kayfabe to replace David Letterman on the 'Late Show'. Ratings juggernaut Bill O’Reilly was stunningly axed over sexual harassment claims. Alex Jones has arguably become the most influential pundit whilst the audacious Trump has effectively made the likes of Rush Limbaugh and traditional media obsolete.

It's telling of the times that the roster Cernovich offered to represent the Right is made up of independent personalities that don't occupy mainstream news outlets.

Cernovich Series PPV:
Team Republican (Cernovich, Weaver, Molyneux, Jones and Watson)

Cernovich Series PPV:
Team Democrats (Maher, Stelter, Olbermann, Harris, Tapper)

MIKE CERNOVICH: (3h 15m 08s) I predicted that people on the Right could do it better than people on the left. This a point that is being missed by the media. This is not a threat. I don’t want violence, I want a debate. Again, show me anyone on the left who has ever offered $100,000 to charity to debate me.
Alex Jones, big name. We can raise a lot of money for charity. We can livestream it, have a superchat going. I bet you we can raise a million dollars if we had a big —like a WrestleMania. Wow! I wish Alex were here right now so we could brainstorm off each other. I envision like a major UFC event. A major boxing match promoted by CNN, co-promoted by Infowars. Maybe get Breitbart, Daily Caller, Cernovich Media. Get all of us in a room and we can have an undercard leading to a main event.

So the Left, they can have Keith Olbermann, Bill Maher, Sam Harris, Jake Tapper, Brian Stelter. All these guys on the left can come in. Like a big battle royal. And then we can have people on the Right: Alex Jones, Paul Joseph Watson, Millie [Weaver], [Mike] Cernovich, Stefan Molyneux. We could have 5, 10 people on each side and this could all lead — God! Where is Alex right now when you need him?

This would be an amazing, amazing event, we could cut up a promo for it. I bet you we could do a million for charity. I would put up a $100,000 of my own money from Cernovich media to see this event happen for charity. It would be the Battle Royale, the Left VS the Right. Who has the better ideas? Who can gauge with free speech with the most tenacity, the most ferocity. Who has the better argument? Who's more logical, who's more cogent? Millions of people would watch this. We could air it on every network. Air it live on CNN, air it live on NBC, ABC, Fox News, MSNBC. Air it live on everybody’s social media, on everybody's YouTube. Crowdfund donations. Livestream it. All money would go to charity. Why isn't this happening?
Cernovich Series PPV: Team Rep VS Team Smack'Dem
The 5 on 5 matchup is perfectly set up for a team showdown, traditional Survivor Series style. It’s worth noting that only Bill Maher and Keith Olbermann are existing APF pundits. Expect more art to come for this dream fight.